Mary Crawley is a significant character in Downton Abbey. As a strong woman, she still found difficulties in her life, shown in her relationships.

Downton Abbey has filled its world with engaging characters who find themselves caught in relationship complications — none more so than Lady Mary Crawley. The period show joins the aristocratic Crawley family in 1912, just after the sinking of the Titanic. From there, Downton Abbey delivers narratives of both the servants and upper-class occupants at the titular stately home during the changes in Britain at the time. While heartache is no strange emotion, most characters have their fair share of joy and success.

Lady Mary Crawley’s stern personality allows her to speak her mind clearly, yet her outward stoicism comes with warmth and care for others. With Downton Abbey‘s Crawleys comparable to a real-life family, Mary’s relationships are a large part of what makes her happy, but it’s unfortunate when they come to an end, sometimes tragically. She is a key character in Downton Abbey, and her relationship history helps viewers understand her interesting characteristics as they intertwine with the various narratives the show has to offer.

Mary Becomes Single (& Has An Affair With Kemal Pamuk)

Season 1, Episodes 1- 5

Downton Abbey immediately reveals that Mary Crawley’s fiancé, Patrick — the heir to the estate — has died. It’s a sad revelation, also posing a quandary for Lord Grantham, as he no longer has an heir to inherit from him. Lady Mary Crawley isn’t completely heartbroken by the loss of Patrick, but knowing she has no rights to her family estate is a grievance, straight away showing her belief in women’s rights. While this is dramatic, episode 3 is when Mary’s love life appears to be as scandalous as the Dowager Countess’s past.

Visiting Downton with Evelyn Napier, Kemal Pamuk is introduced to Mary, and they find an instant attraction with each other. Though Mary is far more reluctant to act on her initial feelings, Kemal chooses to be intimate with her but unexpectedly dies in her bed. Anna and Cora help to move the body, but Cora finds the ordeal disgraceful, claiming that Mary is now “damaged goods.”

Including such a surprising turn of events in the show straight away points out how even those at the top of the social class system can easily make mistakes, which can damage the family’s reputation.

Mary & Matthew’s Romance

Season 1, Episode 6 – Season 2, Episode 1

Matthew Crawley is brought in earlier in the series, but the last episode of Downton Abbey season 1 is when he proposes to Lady Mary Crawley. As Matthew is also related to the family, the estate remains with the couple. However, Mary is filled with worry, as she wants to tell Matthew about Kemal. While Violet keeps secrets, this one is too much for Mary. She feels Matthew should not be unfairly kept in the dark. However, the marriage is swiftly reconsidered as Cora becomes pregnant, which means there will be another heir to the estate.

It’s a little more heartbreaking for Matthew. The engagement is less based on love and more focused on whom the Downton estate would be left to. The breakup comes before World War 1 is declared, and Matthew goes to fight in the Battle of the Somme. He comes home on leave, with his new fiancée, Lavinia Swire. However, she gifts him a lucky toy and prays he is kept safe. The significance of this scene signifies Mary’s true feelings, proving there is more to their relationship than the future of Downton.

Christmas Special: Mary & Richard’s Relationship

Season 2, Episode 2

Season 2 of the show makes it clear that Richard and Lady Mary Crawley aren’t meant for each other. Matthew and Lavinia’s engagement pushes Mary into pursuing Richard, which he reciprocates. However, Mary and Matthew aren’t done with each other. Matthew’s devastating war injury, leaving him paralyzed, causes Lavinia to dedicate her life to him. Mary jumps to his aid, too. Noticing her constant contact with Matthew, Richard explains Mary is in his debt for hiding her secret with Kemal, so they should marry.

Though Mary loves him, once Lavinia dies, Matthew is wracked with guilt, so he decides Mary can never be with him. Mary finds the courage to break up with Richard, even though he argues he did so much for her. Mary and Matthew eventually find a way back to each other. Although the narrative is also used to further Bates’s storyline, it also allows audiences to see Mary’s depth. While she has a hard persona, Matthew brings out her softness, making it difficult for her to deny her feelings.

Mary & Matthew Marry

Season 2 Christmas Special – Season 3 Christmas Special

At last, Mary and Matthew begin their chapter, with Matthew proposing at the end of Downton Abbey season 2. Ups and downs, including the fate of Downton, come their way, but they withstand the trials and tribulations. Initially, it seems Mary’s stubbornness might get in the way of true love. However, all that is required is the right man who doesn’t wish to change Mary, but rather supports and lives alongside her. Their relationship enables viewers to see that she is sometimes misunderstood.

There’s no denying that Matthew would’ve been an asset to the cast of characters in the Downton Abbey movie, but sadly, he dies after the birth of his son. Now a widow and single parent, Lady Mary Crawley had to face the prospect of life without the man she had planned her life with. The death was unexpected, especially as the newlyweds had just settled down, and had found their happily ever after. It highlights that no character is safe, and the writers are willing to keep fans on their toes, not knowing what may come next.

Mary Mourns Matthew

Season 4, Episodes 1 – 2

Mary struggles with Matthew’s death, mourning his loss at the beginning of Downton Abbey season 4. Everything from the costuming to her demeanor expresses the hurt she’s feeling. Her family and servants worry about her, wishing to slowly bring her back to reality and introduce her to normal life once again. Carson explains that she mustn’t be “defeated.” She has the responsibility of her baby, George, making sure his upbringing is as normal as possible, without his biological father around to guide him in the right direction.

While she has no interest in finding another partner, Matthew’s will is discovered, which he had written shortly before he passed away. He states he wishes Mary to be his sole heir. After an investigation, it’s determined that Matthew’s will is valid, meaning Mary owns half the estate. It links well with the start of the series and the uncertainty of Downton’s future ownership or if it could ever be Mary’s. Losing her sister, Lady Sybil, and husband, Matthew, in quick succession, shapes Mary’s life before she finds her strength.

Mary Is Pursued By Gillingham & Blake

Season 4, Episode 3 – Season 5, Episode 8

Lord Gillingham and Charles Blake both arrive on the scene, each finding a strong attraction to Lady Mary Crawley. The two fight for her attention, with Evelyn Napier thrown into the mix, but Lord Gillingham always seems to be more Mary’s type than her other two suitors. After facing rejection from Mary, Lord Gillingham becomes engaged to Mabel Lane Fox, leaving Mary overcome with instant regret. However, he calls off his engagement because of his persistent feelings for Mary, and the pair have a private weekend away.

Their time away in Liverpool is significant in the extensive Downton Abbey timeline for a few reasons. Mary goes against the usual courting process because she can’t understand why a woman should have had no previous experience with a man before marrying him. Her thoughts show her ability to think for herself as a modern woman. Secondly, the trust she has for Anna is epitomized by telling her what’s going on. The relationship between the two is endearing, as their difference in status doesn’t separate them in loyalty and honesty.

Downton Abbey, A New Era: Mary & Henry Talbot’s Love

Season 6, Episode 1

Downton Abbey season 6, catching her eye, but it’s his love for racing cars that concerns her, loathing the thought of having to go through a similar experience of losing another partner. Though he isn’t part of the second movie, Downton Abbey: A New Era, the pair fall in love, unable to resist the draw between them. Their love story doesn’t end there, as they welcome a daughter, Caroline, into the Crawley family, much to everyone’s delight. Mary finally gets a settled, happy life.

Mary’s initial reluctance to be with Henry shows that Matthew had a huge impact on her and still plays on her mind. Proving himself to be a kind man, Henry conveys the power love can have, allowing Lady Mary Crawley to find peace. Mary’s overall timeline of relationships in Downton Abbey indicates what stage of her life she is at, but most importantly, it portrays her will to be with the right person, on her terms. An increasingly captivating and intriguing character, Mary Crawley deserved happiness and love, no matter how long it took.